September 11 2001, Part 2: Ground Zero
It was a cold gray morning as I stood in New Jersey looking out across the Hudson River at lower Manhattan. The wind was blowing hard as I awaited for the sun to come out, but I had a feeling it was going to sit behind all the clouds this morning. I looked out at all the tall buildings tried to picture what it must have been like 20 years earlier to stand there and watch the destruction that had happened. The smoke, the sounds, and the cries from a city in pain. I had moved to New York City in the summer of 2020, but after about a year and a half of dancing around, I was finally going to go complete a personal journey.
Sometimes tears are not enough. And sometimes you shed nothing because the emotions that you feel are so much bigger than what whatever we call our soul can ever experience. The day was chilly, and I felt lost as I walked towards the memorial pools. Tall buildings surrounded me and as I got closer, I could hear the rush of the water and laid out before me was a sight that I thought I would never see: ground zero. It was an early December Sunday with freezing hands as I walked up to reflecting pool number one and investigated it. I felt like I was looking in, but the cries of pain of those who died that day were looking right back at me. If I wanted to cry at that moment, I’m not sure that I could. I thought about how I wanted to capture this moment and so I walked around the massive pool reading off names and would close my eyes and I could hear the pain rushing thru me and so I stopped. I took pictures of everything around me because I didn’t know what else to do.
It had been just over 20 years since I stood on the pier at Santa Monica and looked out at the water of the Pacific Ocean and wondered what it was like in New York City. And here I was looking at the buildings around me and looking down at the reflecting pool, with the water pouring into the center, knowing that September 11, 2001 had not only changed my life but the world around me. The past 20 years had been a rush filled with highs and deep lows, but here I still was, moving slowly but still moving in a place that seemed like a dream.
I don’t have some deep long story about how coming to Ground Zero was an awaking, and I was a changed man, because I wasn’t. Nor do I have a story about how coming to this important place was the start of some crazy adventure, because it was not. Instead, I am here to tell you, using pictures, how I felt that day, what my heart and soul were telling me, yelling at me. How I wanted to stay longer and yet leave as soon as I could. I want to tell you about the small and big things I noticed that day while they are still fresh in my mind.
1- One World Trade Center
You can see it for miles around and yet it feels like a stepparent who you respect because you have to but don’t love like the parent that came before it. I walked around the pools, which are where the original World Trade Center buildings were located, and over my shoulder the new tower kept looking down at me, awaiting approval. For as tall as it is, at a humongous 1,776 feet tall, in person, it does not feel that much taller than any of the other buildings in Manhattan. Maybe in a city with less tall buildings it would stick out more, but here in New York it feels like it is taller among a group of tall buildings. It also doesn’t have that iconic feel and look to the original and the two towers. The new one feels like just another building, but it had a tough order to replace a building that almost came to be a part of New York City, as much as the Brooklyn Bridge or Central Park is to the city.
2- A simple Flower
A simple flower next to the name Peter L. Freund. He was a firefighter for the New York City for 23 years when peter lost his life trying to save those trapped in one tower. You walk around all the names and you realize that these are people who walked and lived life just as you do now. There were moments of happiness and moments of sadness. They breathed the same air that now pass thru your lungs. They started the day like you start yours with a hope that today will be a good day.
Peter’s company was among the first on the scene that day since it was in nearby Little Italy. His wife had recently taken a job to drive a school bus at their kid’s school district. She was driving a really tough bus that day for the first time and she tried to call her husband to tell him about the run that morning and the tough bus she had to handle, but she kept keeping a busy signal. Later, she would discover what happened at the World Trade center and she knew he would be there. They would find his body.
3- The Pools
There are two massive pools, both at the spot that the original towers stood. It is interesting how when I saw them, my first thought was about how the ground they took up was much smaller than what I had in my mind. I looked at the water falling into the center and I looked up at what was now empty sky. I had a rush of thoughts about all that was in those buildings coming down. It is the type of thoughts that will keep you up at night or give you a moment of pause as you rise to a tall building.
4- The City
Looking out into the sky, you really understand that things look small from high above. It is also that moment when you realize that the terrible events of that day occurred so high up. I looked out into the high and the other buildings and couldn’t bring myself to thinking the what if questions? What would you do if you looked out and saw a plane coming towards you? If you felt the building shake, and you knew you were going down, what would your final thoughts be? What would you say if given one last moment and to whom?
Looking out to the skies, I also saw the city that I call home now. New York City is always on the cliff, ready to break apart under its own weight. But it is always ready to welcome all those who want to call the New World home. I looked out and saw a city that many keep wanting to call dead, alive and growing. I looked out into New Jersey and shook a fist at it because once you move here; you learn to hate all things Jersey or from Boston. I looked out and was happy to call this the place I belonged, even if it was for a short time.
5- Into heaven
I was down on the ground and ready to go. I looked up at the sky and the building met the heavens as if they were one. 20 years now had passed, and I was here taking it all in, but I was ready to be home. I had woken up a morning 20 years ago, and it changed my world. The pains and screams of those who died that day would unfortunately not finish, as wars would closely follow with questions that we really don’t want to be answered. Time has passed and it will keep passing along. This year it will be 21 years and soon it will be 30 years and then someday it will be 100 years since that day. I’ll be long gone by then, but hopefully they will still talk and honor those who got up that morning hoping for a good day.