Remix: A date at the beach
A love story that can only take place in my youth
A version of this story first appeared in a badly written form on my original webpage. I have gone back and fixed it to make better sense and to just be a better read. Still not perfect, but as I grow as a writer, it has improved with time. And so with that, on with love.
It turned colder, that’s when it ends, so, I told her, we’d still be friends. Then we made our true love vow. Wonder what she’s doing now. Summer dreams, ripped at the seams. But, oh, those summer nights.
Summer Nights, Grease.
It is a feeling that most have felt. Some call it love, and others call it a curse. It comes on strong and then leaves without a whisper of a goodbye. We all have places that remind us of that love. Maybe it was where you kissed a girl for the first time or a dinner where you and that boy looked at each other and stars danced all around each other’s heads. No matter where that place is, love leaves its mark. That mark might be bitter, it might be a blessing, a warm feeling on a chilly day, or a thought that carries you off to sleep. My memory of love, sadly, is wrapped up in fragments that seem to slip away as the years go by. The words said no longer stay in my thoughts, but the actions have left an imprint that seems to recall moments when all that mattered was the person I was with. We all have those moments, even if the next day reality came knocking. For just that small moment in time, we thought we knew what love was.
I am going to tell you a story; it is not some crazy story that will change your life and you might even forget it by the time you are done reading it, but the world in my head needs to tell it because slowly over the last 20 years, it has faded away. So I am going to tell it as best as I can. This is a story of a night at the beach and the date that didn’t want to end.Â
It was the summer of 2001 and dark days were ahead of us all, but all I wanted to do was to meet her. We would talk deep into the night, back when I loved to talk on the phone. Minute after minute, we would share every thought that we had. I don’t remember how we met but I am sure the internet had something to do with it. This was the early days of the web and saying that you met someone online was a dirty thing to say. And yet there I was, meeting someone who I didn’t know was real. All I knew was the sound of a voice. I was a young 22, and I had a little experience with love, and I knew that love could hurt badly, but here I was trying yet again.
I was on a bus going towards what I felt was a moment in a movie where some sappy song would start playing as the star went towards his destiny. I had a feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t explain even now. Every minute of the ride dragged along, feeling like time would start going backwards at any moment. I got off the bus on Pacific Coast Highway and Main Street in Seal Beach and was ready for an afternoon of smiles and laughter. It was a first date, and I was excited.
So I know you are wondering, where the hell is Seal Beach and why should I care? Well, maybe you aren’t asking yourself where Seal Beach is, but I’m going to tell you anyway so I can reminisce about some. Seal Beach is a city in Orange County, California. It has around 24,000 people living in it and it was founded in 1915. There isn’t anything really special about the city. Even though a 2011 mass killing made the news, it is pretty much always a quiet place. It has an average temperature of 74 most of the year, so it’s a good place to live if you want wonderful weather. Seems like a nice place, right? Well, it is, but I don’t want to talk about how nice the city is, instead I want to talk about the wooden pier. That pier was the meeting spot for this date. And it was at this spot that our story unfolds. Just me, a lonely quiet kid, her a funny outgoing girl and a pier on a sunny summer day waiting for our worlds to come together.
Now everything that I am about to tell you is going to be in pieces because, like I said before, my memory has faded some. I don’t remember enough of the details, but I remember the important parts. My memory is now more like a stack of polaroid pictures left out in the sun. The pictures are fading, but what is on I can still see them.
We met, we talked, we acted shy. We sat on the sand and looked at the pacific ocean. I am sure that words passed between us, or maybe they weren't. There was an Eskimo kiss, which if you are unaware of is when you rub your noses together. Of all the Polaroids that I have swimming around in my mind, this one is the strongest and brightest. It's the one I hold on to the most.
We walked around the streets of Main Street, talking and laughing. I remember we talked about the movie, A.I. Artificial Intelligence, which had just come out that summer. A deep meaning full movie dive as we walked around the streets trying to find something to do, not realizing that we were right at that moment. We walked and talked a lot and the day slipped on by. Now I said at the start of this tale that I was on a bus, well in those days I didn’t drive and neither did she. So we had a limit on our time together, but that magic was in the air that day and we kept pushing our goodbye later into the night. One more laugh, one more embrace, just one more hand holding. Gripping tight to each other, as if we dared to let go would spin away from each other as fast as we came together.
I was in love. Or was I? I don’t remember, but it was something, something strong that I didn’t want to let go. And like a scene from a movie, the sun went down and we stayed close. But we had nowhere to go. Just two people who didn’t want to be apart and didn’t know how to make it work.
I don’t remember how it happened or what either said at this important moment. But the last bus had come and gone, and now we were two people without a way home, and we didn’t care. We walked around some more all night, along the beach and streets, just passing away the hours of the night together. It’s what a 22-year-old with nothing else going on in life would do, and the 42-year-old in me now thinks it was just all so crazy! But that magic was working its mojo that night. We slept on the sand, got told by the cops to get off the sand and we just enjoyed the company. And like a snap of the fingers the time rushed right on by.
The first rays of the morning appeared, and we knew we had to head home. We had a breakfast meal at Denny’s, at a location that isn’t even around anymore. We kissed and said goodbye. And she went home, and I went home and I am sure I was happy. The film ends there, the last song slowly ends and I pack it all away.
So where does the pain in this story come from because I am sure you're thinking that all of this sounded great?
We kept seeing each other a lot more, lots of trips on the bus, lots of trips to the beach. I was with her on the morning of September 11, when the world stopped for a moment. But like so many loves of the heart, what started out with a deep passion slowly turned into a light fire that one day just went out. We shared moments that I still hold close to my heart. I thought she would be around forever. However, one day she was an important part of my life and then the next she was gone.Â
I look at all the pictures taken in Seal Beach over the years and I think about her. It has been a good 18 years since I last spoke to her. This was in the days before social media, so I lost her to a memory that my mind has tucked away for those bitter days.
I have one picture of her. We were at Universal Studios and she has back towards me. I captured it when things seemed right. We lol think that those moments will last forever, that our love will be the one that makes it. Sometimes it does, but most often it just burns away before knowing what we have. We had our moment and I’m thankful for it. That day and night I hold on like a warm, safe thought when everything is possible. It was a gift that love was out there, ready to be found even if held it oh so briefly.
